Monday, February 27, 2017

Ore-Ida Then

I grew up with Ore-Ida French fries.  Now my kids are.  Still yummy, now in even more varieties.  Curly, tots, extra thin, waffle.  Maybe they were always there and I was kept in the dark?  Doesn’t matter.  The important thing, for this post, is that I didn’t make them back then – you know, when TV was black and white and Hi-Fi was a big deal.

Maybe I did make them but didn’t bother with the directions? I actually rarely read directions in my youth.  I always thought there wasn’t time.  Us “old folks” like to wax rhapsodic about the simple life of the good old days and maybe that simplicity is why I didn’t need to worry about such minor details as instructions.  More likely, as I’ve aged, I’ve become a bit more compulsive about things.  Things like reading directions.  Twice.  Every time.  Even when I’m making something I know by heart.  Like pancakes – ¾ c milk, 1 egg, 1/8 vegetable oil mixed; add 1 c flour, less than 1/3 c sugar, 1 Ts baking powder, few shakes from the salt shaker, healthy sprinkle of cinnamon.  Mix with wire whisk.  Place on hot grill until ready to flip.  Flip.  Cook until you remember there are pancakes on the griddle.

I digress.  This is about Ore-Ida.

If you have a bag these tasty treats in the freezer, I encourage you to get it out and read the directions.  Then come back and tell me if I’m crazy.

There are directions for cooking ½ bag.  There are directions for cooking ¾ of the bag.  That’s it.  There are no directions for cooking the entire bag.  No directions for cooking ¼ of the bag.  I’m a smart guy, I can figure out that I should double everything to cook the whole bag but what do I do with the ¼ left over after cooking 3/4?  (Did you react in horror?  I’m not actually crazy.  I know that I’m not supposed to double the ½ bag cooking time for the whole bag…)

But what am I supposed to do for the missing ¼?  Is that considered advanced?  The sort of thing only experienced Ore-Ida re-heaters would ever attempt?  Is it some sort of marketing scheme aimed at tricking engineers into buying 2 bags? (So when they cook ¾ of one, they have to cook ¾ of a second so there will be ½ left.)

Does anybody know?

Does anybody care?

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