Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Cat Food

Welcome to the new Wednesday.  A day of camels walking through cubicle mazes and the inaugural excerpt from Washington Orville Hampton's journal.  (As a reminder, WOH is completely ficticious and nothing in his journal should ever be believed.)

From an entry dated March 3, 1981
                ... and Barnum says, "Cat food."  We all had a good laugh but then, after finishing an especially vile stogie and being shoo'd away by his Dame de la Journée, he popped a handful of Meow Mix into his mouth and crunched away.  He washed it down with the remains of his VSOP.
                Naturally we were all quite aghast but when Le Petite Cherie returned, she did not shun his attentions.  Indeed, it was us who made the hasty retreat.  And a hastier run on the local purveyor of fine dry cat food.
                Now my mother, God rest her soul, won't let me kiss her after a stogie even after eating the cat food but she will let me into the house which is far sight better than the alternative.  I have, through careful research in the name of science, determined that Purina Seafood is the most effective variety to cleanse your pallet of that awful smokiness that otherwise hangs on for days.  It is also effective when you inadvertently consume a large quantity of battery acid and need to keep your insides from being burned out.

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