I finished the last of the specialized passes for the
current draft of Falling Star yesterday.
I did a half dozen specific passes – dialogue for certain characters,
visual and active language, improve descriptions, and clarity of story (which
added 2 pages but addresses the concerns I had from my first two readers).
I celebrated by “saving as” Falling_Star_03 to signify the
end of draft 2. I can let it sit about a
week before I have to decide whether I’m going to move it from New York City to
Alexandria, Virginia to qualify for entry in the Charlottesville Film
Festival. There are strong cases for
both moving and staying.
Wash it Away
And then the sky broke
up
We have a thing in our house. The lyrics to songs become distorted. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense. I went to school with a girl who sang about “dunder
cheese.” She didn’t know what it was – neither
did anyone else – but that didn’t prove the real lyric was “done dirt cheap.”
And then the rain came
down
She doesn’t live in our house. I don’t even remember her name. In my house confused lyrics make a little more
sense. Like “do you want to play with matches?”
and “bowling with my peeps.” Okay, maybe
not a lot more sense but wouldn’t you rather enjoy ten frames in goofy shoes
than be rolling in the deep?
And then it washed
away everything on the ground
The rain last night swept away trash cans and potted plants. I discovered that a porta-potty needs to be
more than 2/3 submerged to float away.
Roads were blocked. Rails had
trees on them. And there were raindrops
on kittens.
Wash it away, wash it
away, wash it away
There is great evil in the world. An evil that we do not often see and rarely
have to face. When it shows itself, when
you see it for what it is, things change.
There’s a stain that won’t come clean and a pallor clings to
everything. A line crossed, an innocence
lost, a Rubicon. And you scrub as Lady Macbeth
scrubbed. And you pray for rain as Honi
did. And you keep on riding.
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